I'm a mess. I swear I'm having some sort of perfect storm emotionally draining, creative block, midlife crisis, deep dark year. It's god damned exhausting! I'm thinking I need to go back to being a hermit.
This is what I feel like... a lovely catastrophe!
So many beautiful butterfly moments, but so much smiling through gritted teeth. I want smiling crows feet, not weary bags around my eyes.
But I've got to buck up, cheer up, get back on the saddle, right?
We all have our burdens, our complaints, our anxieties and faults.
I'm tired of mine. I want to dump them off somewhere. Maybe I will.
I'll burn my worries on a pyre! I'll grab a garden hose to wash away the ashes, then put my thumb over the end to make a fine mist, creating my own rainbow.
Edit: I'll probably just nap and eat cookies instead.
I encourage you to do whatever it is you feel you NEED to do Nichola. The pyre, the ashes, the hermiting (is that a word? Should be.) because the only thing that does not change in life is inherent the need to grow, to expand, to explore ourselves and the environment we create. Sometimes it's possible thru others/observation and sometimes it's only thru our own self-analyzation. But I truly believe, especially for makers of things, it's necessary to tear it all apart and build it back up again sometimes to get it just right. Like wonky structures for which we made several imprecise calculations when we started but they only become noticeable once the structure is far further along. Got to tear it down and start again.
ReplyDeleteYou know I am a fan of the hermit life but also of the idea of a personal paracosm. The world within the world that only you can create. The language, the map (maybe you need a map!) the societal norms and cultures. All self-created by you, for you and then, once created, being the sole guardian of the gates who will decide what merits entry and what doesn't.
Or maybe it's just a smaller tweak that you will need. Either way I trust that you WILL find the path out of the woods and back to a place of peace and contentment within. Trust in the world you've built Nichola but more than that, trust in yourself to know when it needs a good swirl of kind folk magic to rearrange it.
PS: A nap and cookies ain't bad sis! :)
Ah, friend. I want to give you a squeeze, a cookie, and some blankets to build a fort to hermit in if that's what you need. Alas, I'm thousands of miles too far to even drop them off on your doorstep, so I'll send you some love. You do whatever you need to right now; sit with the shit, set it on fire, run through the sprinkler rainbow. You'll find your way back out of this darkness.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. Empty nest syndrome is the worst. Just the hubby and I but it's great that he's a good pick! Lol. The days are long and the nights are worse. If it wasn't for my crafts I would go crazy which by the way would be a very short trip!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you could use a change of scenery? Plan something FUN, something different. And go outside, play with the fairies and get some sunshine to chase away any leftover winter blahs. We love you!
ReplyDeleteHey Girl, hey. You'll be alright. You know you will. Throw down to some jive tunes, doll yourself up for no reason, and come on baby light that pyre. You're too full of magic to let the whateva' get you down for long.
ReplyDeleteOut of angst comes beautiful art! I love these. Hope things look brighter soon.
ReplyDeletecheer up buttercup, this too shall pass and you will be right as rain very soon
ReplyDeletebig hugs to you
Marisa
Well lovely lady, your feel good tags made me feel good and sparked an idea here in my messy little hobbity hole craft room. Even out of sorts you brighten MY day!
ReplyDeleteSending healing potions from Madame Pomfrey and tons of special faerie dust.
ReplyDeleteLove the idea of burning your cares. I suggest adopting a new plant and spoiling it with love.