News of heart attacks, cancer, deaths, the Fort Mac fire, then amoral asshats, contemptible copycats, and a million little things, like a million little stinging pin pricks, taking their toll. There's only so much 'chin up and stiff upper lip' or 'count to ten and breathe' a girl can endure.
At one point I considered taking everything I've built, and taking it down. All the posts, all the projects... poof! But then what?
I thought of the people who tell me my work inspires them in some small way, the sweet stories, encouraging words and the thanks. All of those kindnesses that make this the very best job in the world... and it made me even more irate to know that some think so little of it.
So, I went to the garden in search of a bit happiness.
I chanced upon a blue fairy sitting in the forget-me-nots. There were few words exchanged, but she was kind and sympathetic. "Just a little longer, and all will be right as rain." she said. I felt a little better.
Continuing on my walk, I encountered a tiny scouting pixie in one of the mossy old stumps on our hill. She said she was keeping an eye out for any trouble or foreseeable mischief. She assured me that although she looked quite young, I would be safe under her watch. And immediately, I felt more secure.
The next little fairy didn't say anything at all, but was so sweet that I could feel my heart lighten after watching her beneath the dandelions for just a few moments.
This fairy didn't speak either, but motioned me to follow her to the back garden, through the moss and clover. I'm fairly certain she was some sort of fairy godmother because her frock was impractical and she gifted me with pockets of glitter. She handed me a dandelion puff and encouraged me to make a wish.
After making my wish, I opened my eyes and saw this fellow leaning against some fresh yellow dandelion heads. "Did you wish for more wishes? Because these ones won't be ready for another week." I sat next to him on the grass and we talked for a very long while. We looked at the blue sky and watched the clouds. The little fellow winked at me, and I found a bit of happiness.
EDIT: Thanks for all the kind words. I wasn't fishing for pity, but you guys totally made my day. Sometimes things just pile up so high it's hard to see the point of continuing the climb. It happens to everyone in some way or another. I'm extremely fortunate to have so many people cheering me on. I hope you know that I'm rooting for you too. Don't worry about me, I'll keep tinkering.
what great finds in your garden, a beautiful fairy-tale world, thank you for sharing
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting claude <3
DeleteYou and your work are so magical and inspiring, Nichola. I'm so glad you found some happiness with your fairy friends. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Erin <3
DeleteI am glad that you decided not to shut everything down - I do find your site and your work very inspiring and whimsical. Curses on the fool daring to steal your ideas rather than be inspired by them. I certainly hope everything is on an upswing for you. Hugs and wishes for brighter days ahead!
ReplyDeleteNext week will be better. I won't have it any other way. Thanks for the nice words xoxo
DeleteYou are a fabulous artist, and I love the tutorials, inspiration, and freebies that your blog provides. I'm sorry life has been so rough to you lately, I can only hope it gets better for you. Best wishes and many thanks for all you do.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'll be fine and dandy in no time at all <3
DeleteOf course the fairies would come to your aid during this challenging week! So glad your wee folk friends are looking out for you and brought some solace! : )
ReplyDeleteFairies are pretty great at cheering people up. They're also excellent at pinching people who are jerks. I'm glad to know where I stand ;)
DeleteOh I am so glad you decided not to exclude us from the wonderland into which you have invited us. I am so inspired by you and your dreams and your blog is a place of refuge in a Kartrashian world. Sometimes I imagine all the problems facing me and I sing out loud "It's time, to take a little sidestep right, another sidestep right and another, then then then skip one two three steps forward and then it's fine to take a little sidestep left, another sidestep left and another, and wiggle arse strut forward!".if that doesn't work, it's time for The Boss and shout out loud " We made a promise we'd always remember, no retreat baby, no surrender!!!!" I wish you so much dream dew and send special giggles from Cape Town, South Africa. Annarica
ReplyDelete"wiggle arse strut forward" will be my new mantra ;) Thanks for the cheer and nice wishes. Sending you good thoughts from Canada!
DeleteYou have the sweetest fairy friends and are so nice to share.
ReplyDeleteYeah, they're pretty darned great. Thanks for visiting.
DeleteI hear you, Nichola. I have troubles of my own. So sad for both of us. You shared your story but I will not share mine........too much heartache to share. But I will tell you that I have a very large maple tree that stands tall over our driveway. About 4 feet off the ground, the huge trunk splits up into 3 large branches with a dip between them. I noticed a day last week that there was a tree of a different kind growing in a layer of old leaves stuck there. I pulled the tree out and had a light bulb go off in my head. Leaving the old leaves in place, I added about 3 inches of soil. Then some creeping jennie, a scrap of fine sedum, 4 small white wax begonias and a tiny frog that shares his leaf with a tiny ladybug, (found at our local fairy garden center). I added 2 large clear blue marbles, glass pebbles and a fossil that looks like honeycomb. Now if I can just find my fairy garden arch perhaps I can entice a fairy to move in.
ReplyDeleteSounds divine, I'm sure you'll be infested with fair folk in no time at all. I'm sorry for your troubles :( I'll send you the best wishes I can that things look up for you. Much love xoxo Nichola
DeleteSo Sorry to hear about such a crappy week. I would comment more often to let you know how much I enjoy your work and your words, but I can't always do so from my phone. Please don't quit making and posting, your blog is one of the few outstanding ones still out there. I always check my email in the early evening to see if one of your wonderful posts has arrived yet. And remember if if someone copies you, it will not have your very special fairy dust touch. You are special so remember to take a break anytime you need it; we will be here waiting for your next fairy special dream.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that <3
DeleteIt saddens me to learn of your troubles. You were right in going out to talk with the fairies as they always know the right things to say to make life right again. It means so much to have creative people like yourself who is willing to share and give inspiration to all of us out here who are not as talented and need a creative boost. Fairy blessings to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteFairy blessings right back at ya! <3
DeleteI love your faery friends! (I especially like that you have a male faery friend!) But, I'm very sorry that you've had a bad week. I've had one, too. The good news is, the retrograde that we're now in is due to lift by the middle of this week - so things should improve and outlooks be brighter! Adore your post!
ReplyDeleteThank. The. Gods. I never used to put much stock in the whole 'retrograde' thing but then I paid attention and holy heck! does it ever do a number on what's going on. I can not wait for this to be over. It's a funny thing about the lack of male faeries because in actual faerie folklore there are many, many varieties that are ONLY male! Ah, well... here's to better days for both of us.
DeleteSo sorry that you had such a bad time of it Nichola-"(
ReplyDeletei am however, very happy that you walked in the garden and met with the fairies as you did! Your wonderful post lightened my heart as well and I feel the sun shining for both of us!
Sending huge hugs and caring thoughts
Jackie xx
ps..there are many of us that follow,appreciate,respect and adore your sharing and artwork,please do what makes you happy!!
Thanks Jackie <3 I really appreciate it and all the kind comments you leave. It was a stinker of a week but I'll be fine and dandy in no time at all.
DeleteI am so glad you didn't shut everything down! You are very inspiring to me... With your work and your stories, you can pick me up as the fairies on your walk picked up your spirits. Please don't stop lightening my dark days
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, it was just a bad week, we all have them... even fairy loving lunatics ;)
DeleteI can only imagine how rotten you have felt this week Nichola! I am so sorry about the theft of your work and ideas. It burns me that people cannot use their own imagination and build on an idea themselves. We would miss you terribly! I am so glad you changed your mind about taking your beautiful work down. Although I would not have blamed you if you had. A friend of mine sent me the link to the page you referred to because he knew I loved that sort of thing. He doesn't know who you are from apples so I told him this was your work and you were an fb buddy of mine. 😊 I love Pixie Hill and the Pixies! You always inspire me to go beyond what I think I can do.
ReplyDeleteThanks lovely Miss Merricat <3 It was really disappointing, infuriating, to see. But the Pixie's won't let me sit still so I guess I have no choice but to go on ;)
DeleteThankfully, Pixie Hill is a true sanctuary for many.Sometimes we really need to embrace the fact that our so called reality is too harsh and detrimental to human beingness.I look forward to every post.I think you need sweets and tea as they make everything better. Sending sweet love and embraces as well.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth in Montana. [email protected]
I agree! Sweets and tea would make everything better <3 Thanks for the sweet wishes... right back ya! xoxo
DeleteI don't know what's been happening to you, but offer my condolences and best wishes. I, for one, would be completely devastated if you took down your blog or quit posting your marvelous creations. I am so inspired by you and your work. Besides,anyone who tries to take credit for your work is only deceiving themselves. Cheer up ol' girl, we love you and your fairies:)
ReplyDeleteAnd we, all the pixies and I, love you back, smokeysmom <3
DeleteIt would be such a victory for diabolical forces if you chucked it all. I'm so sorry your world is stormy at the moment, and I'm keeping thoughts and prayers for sunshine and blue skies to reclaim their place in your space. You are a true inspiration to others and a fabulous artist. Thank You for the joy you bring to and spark in others.
ReplyDeleteThanks Missy. I totally agree about those diabolical forces and not letting them win. Honestly, the fact that they pushed me to the point of quitting made me even angrier. The clouds will clear <3
DeleteSo very sorry to hear of your bad week. I do want you to know how much I admire your creativity and imagination. You brighten my day and inspire me on a daily basis. I'm so glad you have decided to rise above the heartbreaks of the week. It would be a huge loss not to have your voice in the world. Thank you for the happiness you bring to my life and to others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that <3 It means a lot. I'll be fine... just a little dent in the armor.
DeleteHang in there. Sometimes life is all rain clouds, but I have to remind myself that the sun is always shining behind the clouds. I have found so much inspiration in your tutorials, and I even ordered some of the fairies you suggested to make the mason jar lights for my nieces. I have six of them under age 12 who are going to LOVE them! My teenage daughter and I are going to work on them together. YOU are the reason that we're going to make such lovely things and spread such happiness to a lot of little wanna be fairies out there! When ordinary life gets you down, remember what an extraordinary experience you are providing for many people! Thank for bringing fun and magic into our lives.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the nice comment <3 There's a JK Rowling quote that goes something like "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." I try to think of that when something knocks me down... but sometimes I have a little meltdown first. It really does make a huge difference, makes me feel like what I do is in some way worthwhile, when I hear that people make with their kids or spread a little magic. Thank you.
DeleteNichola you bring so much light into my day. I hope my fairies speak to your's and they let you know the joy you bring with your words.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure they're whispering and gossiping right now!
DeleteNichola - what an amazing walk in the garden. I love your conversations with fairies - your creativity speaks volumes & heals the owies. bless your heart. Robin B
ReplyDeleteThanks Robin! Blessings right back at ya!
DeleteI loved this post. Thank You, for making my day..Wishing you much peace, and sunny days, for the fairies also...
ReplyDeleteNichola, I am never good on commenting on the life stuff. It seems like there are only so many "hang in there's" that one can hear. . . but our heats are with you.
ReplyDeleteI want to comment on the "contemptible copycats" part of your post. My dear, they are out there, waiting within every little dark corner. So, that's a fact. . . but here is the thing. They cannot, EVER, in a million years, come close to capturing the magic or the intent of your work. And you, every day, grow and develop all that you do in so many ways that are un-imitable. And you share/put so much out there for people to see behind the scenes. And some people, be it thru ignorance or just daft flightiness, do not understand the fine line between inspired and stolen.
I have to believe, just as Sophie and I have seen time and again, that the people who willfully or not cross that line, never find the reward they hope for. Short term? Perhaps. But not when compared to one who builds there life around the creative spirit and the gentle guidance of the world of fae and possibilities. Those who take, do so because the have so little to give or they simply do not believe in what they DO have to offer the world. . . take heat in the fact that you inspire so many (including myself!) to reach deeper, explore more and to believe in what we have to offer. I've told you before that you were one of the first souls we encountered online who we could look at and say; "Yes, that's what we want to do too. . . put magic into the world. It IS possible!" So thank you a million times over. . .
And those little faeiries you discovered along the way that day . . . well, according to the ones here around the Pine, they ask that you listen. . . believe. . . and most of all, be good to yourself these coming days until the ship appears more righted around you.
We send our love and support today and always to those on the Hill.
nicolas and sofie
Oh, for shame....bah on nargles, Dementors and assorted thieving muggles. Your work is such a delight,much needed at times. I wish some of your wee folk would visit my garden. I had such a battle with deep rooted weeds today I've about given up.
ReplyDeleteI am hoping the varmits stay away from you if they know what is good for them. Wishing you better times ahead. You can't know joy without having shed a few tears along the way.
ReplyDelete